Recently, we were asked by one of our couples on their wedding day if we get jaded about marriage. If we come to weddings and see all these sweet nearly-weds so in love and blissfully happy and shake our proverbial fingers and say (in our heads), “You juuuust wait. You just wait until you have 3 kids and you’re up at 2 am cleaning up vomit. See if you love marriage – or each other – this much at that point!”
We love that question because it gave us pause, a chance to think, and then the opportunity to respond. Of course we love marriage, we love weddings, and we love engaged couples. We would do this if we didn’t! But, even more, we love the opportunity to tell the story of the beginning. Because there is a long road ahead, that admittedly isn’t always easy. But marriage isn’t about feeling butterflies and sparkles all the time. It’s about taking each other for better or worse, the good and the bad, and writing your story.
So, today, we’re bringing out one of our most read posts of all time. We’re dusting it off and reworking some of it. But, we want you to read our why. It’s a little wordy, but if nothing else, we want you to hear our heart.
An Open Letter to The Newly Engaged:
Congratulations! We are so incredibly excited for you! You have just decided to embark on the most exciting, most fun, most difficult, and most trying journey of your life! You have decided to fight, to love, to submit, to give. You have decided to say “yes.”
This is the absolute most exciting part of your life, right? Maybe! But, maybe not, and that’s ok. Hopefully, there will be some way more fun and exciting times coming down the road! Like when you’re expecting your first baby and all you can think about is what their sweet little nose will look like or what color their hair will be. Or when you’ve been married for fifteen years and you finally, finally get to take that vacation you’ve been saving for and dreaming of since, well, fifteen years ago. Or when you look at him one day after 20 years and realize that even through all the highs and lows, you’ve never loved anyone more than him right now. There will be many many more times in your life that will be the BEST day. And that is amazing!
We live in a unique time. A time when everything is photographed and posted and compared. When it is difficult to not have the best, the most beautiful, the most unique. It can feel like these few short months of wedding planning are the culmination of everything awesome and beautiful and stylish in your life and if you don’t make it absolutely perfect, then you might as well forget about it. Did you create 15 Pinterest boards so you could pin and plan every last tiny detail? Did you scour all the wedding blogs to make sure your ideas were beautiful, timeless, in style, but not too popular? It’s enough to make your head spin and your heart long for more.
We love beautiful weddings. We believe that wedding details help tell your story and a fun party is a great way to honor your friends and family. But do you know what we believe in even more? We believe your marriage is more important than your wedding. Let’s say it one more time.
We believe your marriage is more important than your wedding.
Your commitment to one another is more important than your commitment to your flower choice. And your marriage is your marriage regardless of what your budget is. We believe that celebrating your anniversaries is more important than what champagne you will serve during the toasts. And we believe that the legacy you leave is more important than any of this today.
Now, we LOVE it when your wedding is full of beautiful well thought-out details and fun surprises. But, do you know what we love even more? A couple that is grounded. One that knows this is not the end, but the beginning of something amazing, and that is committed to tomorrow and next year and 50 years from now. A couple that LOVES beyond the now.
So, sweet bride and groom to-be, please plan the most epic wedding of the century. Be overjoyed and excited and have sooo much fun with every detail. We want you to LOVE your wedding! But, please don’t loose sight of the WHY. Remember that you are planning for one day. Don’t forget to plan for the rest of your lives together.
We love you so much. We want you to live a life of love and legacy and enjoy so many days as THE BEST DAY. And our mission, our joy and reason we do what we do, is to help you take something tangible from this beautiful wedding day you’ve created into the trenches of marriage so that you can remember how you felt on that day. On that oh-so-important day when you promised your life to someone else for better or worse. So you can look back and say “yes” again and again.
Love, a couple who has had many countless “best days,”
Dan & Erin